Sunday, November 13, 2016

Downfall Of Gaia - Atrophy (2016)

There are those times when you are sorting through a stack of music and nothing feels right because you are too sad or too depressed (they are different!) or too keyed-up or restless or angry or panicked and then you come across that exactly right thing. That is what happened to me this afternoon with Downfall of Gaia's Atrophy. Originally I was going to pick one song from here to be representative, but I ultimately just want you to listen to the whole thing in order. Nothing yet, nothing new, anyway, sounds to me like how I feel right now. I think I am passing through the Total Fear into Wistful, Forlorn Sadness, with Fulminating Anger on the horizon. Downfall Of Gaia are a band that sound like their name. Whatever possibly foolish hopes we may have had for preserving most if not all of life on our Earth seem like they have been vanquished forever by the petty machinations and pathetic egos of white cishet men more frightened of their own obsolescence than the destruction of all life and all beings. Downfall Of Gaia is musick for weeping, for raging, for laying on the rug in a fetal position when nothing else is possible anymore. It is musick for mourning what hasn't left but is leaving. I am also all about jazz drums under/around chorally expansive black metal riffs. That is my jam, at least one of them. I feel like I have run out of time and out of resources and out of what was left of me, without having enough to become something different, something better than this. Downfall Of Gaia, incredibly, is helping. Maybe it will help you too! <3 nathaxn

4 comments:

  1. Greetings. I've followed you on letterboxd for a while, and recently checked out your blog - good thing, as it's helped keep me sane over the past (already) five days, during which, I also have not been able to sleep. Anyway, I guess I wanted to say keep up the good work - also if you're still considering Oregon, I know a few people there I could put you in touch with. (I myself live somewhere I will hardly notice any difference which is somehow even more terrifying). I will really miss your reviews, btw.

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    1. Dear Marna: Like an idiot on my own blog I just made more comments instead of 'replying' to yours! I am sorry! If you want read the 2 comments I posted in response to your kind words! I am still thinking about Oregon, esp. PDX/Eugene and/or Western Mass. All of this is ridiculously hard. I hope things are good with you! Thank You Again!!! <3 nathaxn

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  2. Dear Marna: Thank You for the kind words and the kind offer! I am trying to put together a plan of action, which is not my strong suit. Being kind of a mess I am somewhat loath to interject myself into other people's lives, especially unsuspecting ones! But You don't know how much your extension of support means to me. I will probably not be gone from LB forever as it and the community there mean so much to me. I just don't know how to watch and write about movies anymore so I try and collect myself through metal! Thank You Marna! Hails & Love!!! nathaxn

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  3. Dear Marna: PS: I hope you are getting able to sleep better. I know it is hard, but I have found that I feel a little less bad if I can sleep, even if it is shallow and broken. Melatonin is helping a little. I am thinking of you in my mind and in my heart. <3 nathaxn

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