Housing Injury 05/14/20

this is going to be short. i got badly badly hurt just now. for over two years i have begged my landlord to let me know before he opens or closes the basement doors to the building. they are large iron or steel corrugated doors that are on the sidewalk of the building. my building is an old art deco movie theatre. there is really no insulation in the first floor. my apartment is the only apartment on the first floor. everything else is a business. opening or closing the basement doors is one of the most painful and damaging things i have ever experienced. when i am sitting on the toilet or in bed or in my office chair when the basement doors are opened or closed, a massive shockwave goes through the floor and into my spine. i was born three months prematurely. i have lifelong birth defects which include serious spinal and central nervous system issues. in addition to that, in 2010 i suffered a very serious whiplash tbi which i have never recovered from and in 2011, i fell in between the car and the curb, twisting my body on top of my right leg. i could not walk without crutches for almost a year. my hips, feet, knees, spine, no longer point the same way they did before. it was after this that i began experiencing the worst symptoms from shockwaves to and sudden movement of my spine and brain. it was difficult to be around people. i largely had to live in the basement of the home i was living in in minnesota by the end because a wooden house full of furniture and kids and activity with a large hollow basement also is a resonant chamber. that was nothing compared to this building. you could not build a structure more designed to damage and eventually destroy my nervous system. when the shockwave from the basement doors comes, it almost hurls me bodily from my seat, i cry out in pain, i can no longer control my body, i go into convulsions. the pain is sudden and extreme. it starts in the back of my neck and somehow INSIDE of my skull. i had thought my landlord was here because i heard and felt footsteps but he had said he was going to text me when he was coming over to do work here and like an idiot i believed him despite all of his prior behavior. so i was ignoring it as maybe the witch shop doing stuff, even when the first big wave happened i tried to roll with it, but as always, it is the second, closing impact that is the worst. in that moment who and what i am is wiped away and there is nothing. after that there is pain and inflammation. this spikes in two days but does not ever really recede. it takes weeks or months to feel better. as soon as the second wave hit and i could stand up i ran outside. i saw my landlord. he had just gotten a stove up out of the basement. he saw me. i have told him innumerable times how much this hurts, how the injuries are permanent, how i don't really recover. at first, he says he will try to remember to text but no guarantees. then he gets aggrieved that i have asked. i am living with something that almost no one has to live with. all of what is in my neck and spine feels pushed to the far left up against my skull. it isn't normal. all of the blood flow to my brain is made weird by this. i have massive cysts in my neck. i have had them for years. in addition to whatever other injuries i have, i also have a three-inch gap in leg lengths. my right leg is like three inches shorter. i haven't had orthopedic shoes in like four years and i haven't had good orthopedic shoes since before the brain injury, so my spine is misaligned already and then further by walking around. in 2018 everything got much much worse when i ran my car down a dip at the speed limit, giving myself a neck/spine injury where nothing was the same after. it was the kind of thing you know at the time is a permanent injury. then i hurt myself AGAIN immediately after in a movie theatre chair. i can't go to the movies anymore after that series of injuries. i mean, i did for years but i couldn't, it hurt too much. those were the injuries that ended my ability to draw. i keep getting hurt now. it is unreal. like while i am typing this i am getting hurt. since september 2018, my health has gone into rapid decline. the daily injuries i have been receiving driving and at home just in the normal course of things have been piling up. that is where things stood when the flower shop that surrounded my apartment decided to tear out the walk-in fridge bolted to our shared walls and floor at 8am on April 13th. That hurt more than anything ever. It went on and on. Over a month later, and construction is still happening in that space. My landlord is now the one doing it. He says he will text me when he is coming over and he says he is going to be there two or three nights a week after work for hours, so like 5-9pm say, and one weekend day, for like twenty+ hours a week. he only gives me a half hour warning if that before he comes, so i have to be ready to clear out at a moment's notice and be gone in the evening during a pandemic for hours. there are no libraries or movie theatres or coffee shops. i have nowhere to go. the one thing he was doing was letting me know so i wouldn't get hurt which was sort of working but now i am really really hurt. like i can barely type this. how can this be acceptable? how can this be ok?

i am not a doctor but just from reading stuff i would not be surprised if i had cervical cranial instability maybe with a csf leak and maybe as the result of some kind of ehlers-danlos but given my history of disability, which i am sure contains all kinds of stuff i have no idea about, i don't think that would be necessary to destabilize my skull/neck.

i have long since accepted that i might die here. i have begged friends family work ngos to take me out of here. i have told them over and over what it is doing to me. i have no quality of life here at all. it was obvious from the beginning that this was so bad it was obviously subjecting me to permanent injury or worse but my disability and lack of consistent access to sympathetic health care has made using normative channels impossible for me. when i reach out to normative channels, my behavior seems eccentric and my landlord's seems normal so my very real problems get dismissed and i get portrayed as a mentally ill crank. all i wanted was for him to text me so i could get out while he does stuff in there. it is a horrible inconvenience for me but better than potentially life-threatening injuries. he can't even be bothered to do that. how can he be responsible for people's living spaces like this?

this kind of injury, when i am in my office chair and the basement door shockwave goes through, it turns my spine into spear, jamming it up into the floor of my skull, and all of my vertebrae act like plates in a cabinet when a train goes by. i now have so much inflammation i can feel it in my face. my ears are filling with fluid and cracking. my body is swaying in my office chair like an animatronic cobra that is broken. i might vomit. i don't know how or if i will be able to go to sleep tonight or eat food for the next two days. i was already having really bad gastro stuff so not eating for two or three days sounds like a relief tbh. i can feel my body gasping and gulping like a fish dying on a dock after being hooked and reeled. i hope i die soon.

because i can never know when this is going to happen i can never feel safe. i can never relax.

he saw me and he knew he hurt me and he didn't say anything at the time or later. i didn't say anything to him. i have said all to him i have to say about this. he never listened to me.