:(

i wanted this to be a celebratory post. two days ago i arranged to get a 2003 Pontiac Vibe with 90,000 miles on it clean inside with two owners runs great etc through a $5800 loan over 4 years at 10% interest through my mom which was really nice of her  and i was so proud of my car and i loved it and i was worried about picking it up because of the torrential rains and flash floods but i got it two days ago and then last night my new car flooded because there was so much rain it overwhelmed the HVAC drainage and flooded the cabin and might have gotten up from below. now i am completely bereft. i am not asking for anything. i just want to die. i hate myself. i hate being this thing. i am so awful at being alive. i am the curse. i am what is wrong.