Urgent Plea For Assistance

Dearest Friends And Readers:

I am in a terrible bind. I need transportation to go to and from work. I am disabled, physically and cognitively. I live all alone in a small town a half-hour away from my job at a big box store where I am a cashier. I needed to take the job in order to try and secure housing which I have. My rent represents nearly half of my monthly disability allotment. The other half and the little that I make from a part-time cashier job (max 20 hrs a week) goes to food, medical care, medicine and since my car died in January, a rental car. A healthy, solvent person would be able to go to a used car lot and even with those little resources, make some kind of deal to achieve a car. I have not been able to both financially and because I am terrified to go to a car lot and end up being taken advantage of by a process I do not understand and cannot grasp. I have been trying to get a loan from my mother but this has been unusually protracted and difficult. My father will not help me financially at all. My family either cannot or do not want to grasp the situation in which I am trying to survive. I am scared. As of Wednesday July 4, I need at least $400 to cover the cost of ONE WEEK of summer rates for a Hyundai Accent so that I can go to work for that week and make the little that I do. It doesn't make sense to pay that much money to have a big box store cashier job but that is literally the only contact I have with people other than on the telephone or (less and less frequently) online. I need a car desperately. I wish there were some way to solve this problem. I will still be in a huge mess once the rental car situation is resolved but until it is resolved I cannot move forward in getting therapy or necessary medical care. This really is urgent. I hate to ask again and again. Last week I wrote a similar letter but no one could help and I understand. Lots of the time I wonder why I am alive when I cannot make the minimum qualifications for continuing to live. I hate being this person. The stress is unreal, having to continually beg and scrape and fight just to work at a low-wage cashier job which hurts so much physically I can barely get through a four-hour shift. I want to live. I want to be productive and help people with the life that I have left. I don't want to die. I don't want to live in a continual panic about how to survive, how to get by the next day and the next. If you can help at all, I can receive funds through Google Pay. My address is numbatwombat21 at gmail. I wish I could write better these days. I wish if I could be more coherent, less scattered, that I could explain my situation to my family, to friends, to a social worker, anyone, who could act as a support and an advocate in acquiring transportation and basic assistance. I never would have moved far away and taken a job if I didn't have a car but now that that car has died I am really in a terrible situation. Please someone help me. I am trying to do everything that my family and society has asked of me. I am trying to support myself in a good faith effort. I work hard at great cost. I have done everything in my power to save this job. Please help. I don't know what else to do anymore. Even if I can get through this week I don't know how I will get through until my next pay period in two week. I have tried to fight for as long as I can but I am running out of options. Sorry for writing these. <3 nathaxnne