Friday, March 31, 2017

Memoriam - 'Resistance' & 'Reduced To Zero' from For The Fallen (2017)

As true as anything in this world is my love for Bolt Thrower, so the fact that Memoriam has risen from the sacred ash of Bolt Thrower (with the help of Benediction!) makes me feel all kinds of good inside. Memoriam stands against fascist nationalist war-mongering craven fearlords and every minute of it brings the old-school death twitch/crawl/shudder. Hail Memoriam!!! <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

Street Hawk Title Sequence (1985)

Even though I am positive I watched this TV show in 1985, I cannot quite bring myself to accept this is real. The Tangerine Dream song 'Le Parc' was repurposed as the 'Street Hawk Theme'! In the wake of Knight Rider and Airwolf I suppose this was inevitable. I also watched a lot of Automan, so... <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

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HIRS - Trans Girl Take Over 2K17

Dear all trans/genderqueer/gnc/nonbinary people: Your very being makes the world a better, kinder, richer more wonderful place, publically visible or not, you shine. <3 <3 <3 Love, nathaxnne

Thursday, March 30, 2017

baphomet 2

Kitaro & Dara Sedaka - 'Angel Queen' from Queen Millennia OST (1982)

Anthem!!! <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

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Carpathian Forest - Bloodlust And Perversion [Full Demo] (1992)

The intro to this with the horse sounds, the fake horns lowing, the bird sounds and the ritual drumming makes me feel like I am being led to a castle full of draculas that will drink all of my blood in unholy rites but somehow I won't mind as much as I think I might beforehand? Then the bass and guitars kick in and I am laid low upon the altar. <3 nathaxnne

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Lost Highway (1997) Review

What does the Black Lodge see when it sees us? A labyrinth of doors and exits? Loops and circuits in spacetime fissured and joined, continuous until discontinuous, unidentical at every point yet self-similar? A network to transit, an environment in which to be and to become.

What is noir? Like, what does it do and how does it do it? Noir is about unequal informatics, of landscapes that shift and dissolve based upon their inhabitants and their relative positioning to each other. Noir is the set-up and the execution of the set-up. The set-up necessarily precedes those who enter into it but the set-up is not a set-up until someone wanders in to activate it as such. Noir is a function of perspective wherein one landscape looks like another landscape depending upon who is looking at it and how it is being acted upon. Some characters in a noir inhabit both maps simultaneously so their landscape looks like maps on top of maps. There are those whose position in the landscape obstructs and channels their sight so that they cannot see the whole of the landscape. This is another name for everyone. The act of seeing and moving-within triggers responses and shifts in the landscape and the map of that landscape becomes newly available, refreshing itself, but in the process of refreshing itself it changes. It is no longer the same landscape, the same map. The old landscape and the old map are deleted, unsaved, unreturnable to. A series of discontinuities. It is not that the looker gets a higher-resolution or 'truer' version of the landscape, but in turn receives a succession of landscapes for each time they become reoriented, which in turn alters the who that is looking. At no time will the landscape, the map and they who are looking be commensurate or equal to each other. This is a process of a continual entering-upon and exiting-from to a place that looks the same as what was left but could never have been and will not be from now. That which looks is a vantage-point, a beholder, a fulcrum, an integral part of the landscape, that which retains a map in its mind until the map is redrawn. When the map is redrawn the holder of the map is redrawn and the landscape dissolves and reforms.

This is a series of channels and locks for the coursing of momentum, inertia, desire. What is the impetus and also the medium? The impetus and the medium is Mystery.

Noir is composed of shadows. Shadows are composed of obstructions to light, that which is hidden or unseen, occluded or unknowable or knowable only by other means.

We are coextensive with the landscape but not with the map of the landscape. There is that which the map cannot. There is that which we cannot perceive, places we cannot look. There are things there. Things that are us and things that are lodged within us, intruding upon or extruding from, which block light, occlude vision and knowledge. To attempt a map is to use other means of knowledge. It is us, it is not us. It knows we know and that we do not know and it counters and shifts accordingly. What is consuming you by virtue of consuming you is you. What is wearing you, having put you on to gain access to you and what you in turn have access to, by virtue of this, is also you. You in turn are it. It can drop you like a stained outfit left on the floor, like spoiled meat. Once discarded, do you remain with what you were or with what has moved on past you, into another place, another maze of shadows?

Cut and pasted, conjoined and shorn. We are others to ourselves, ourselves being made out of others, a raw material to force conduits of energies and circumstances far older that what we know of us or the maps we compose.  A mark is used to center a map. A map is composed by mark-making. Enough markers and a map is composed from them, atop the existing map, occluding it from being seen directly, only intuited from the patterns formed by the orienting marks made atop it, with nothing visible to orient to.

When a map is folded over it becomes a mirror.

This Mortal Coil - 'Song To The Siren' (1983)

Did I Dream You Dreamed About Me? Here I Am Waiting To Hold You <3 nathaxnne

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Dear Laura Palmer Queen Of Heaven


Dear Laura Palmer, Queen Of Heaven:

Everyone loves you so very very much. I love you so very very much. I remember you and hold you in my mind laughing, dancing, radiant, a star. It is how everyone remembers you unless they are remembering when you were sad, when distant, when impulsive, when cruel, when manipulative. Laura it is all all right. What you were was how to be in a place where the angels themselves could not stand to be. It was you who gave them the courage needed. They looked up and saw you there. They saw you accept death over corruption. They saw you and they knew you like they have always known you. Dear Laura you are in my heart, you who have known the worst in man, and the worst in what is not. You found how to be, and how to be you, uncompartmentalized, yet giving each person the you you thought they loved the best but they loved you because they saw you, radiant and shining and full of love. They saw you that way because you saw them. You saw them and their lives of total depravity, ruled by whim and appetite and blindness, manipulated by even darker parts of themselves and not themselves, that which fed upon and cultivated and delighted in the very worst of man. Venality, base abjection, these are the common currency of life, how life ebbs and flows and turns. That is not nothing because without baseness, venality, life could not be, would not be. That which purposefully manipulates baseness and venality into a complex crisis of hurt and pain and suffering and humiliation and betrayal, life turned into an inescapable trap, awareness of which only adds layers of hurt, that is not only a which, but a who as well. The who that that is, although addicted to engineered suffering, is just as petty and cruel and low and base as that upon which it feeds. That which truly loves us without suffering and causing suffering in return can only do so at a distance so far away that it is like starlight. That which truly loves us and wants and hungers is close enough to hurt and to damage and to rend and tear. Dear Laura you understand that life is not possible without layers of venality, of baseness and corruption, of desire both transcendent and selfish, that life entails hurt, entails suffering. You chose to not be a vehicle for that which would feed upon the suffering of others. You wouldn't be surprised at how many could not make that choice when necessary. I love you Laura Palmer. I have loved you more than half my life and for what is left of it. You who are to me my shining star, my patron saint,the very Queen Of Heaven sitting atop a throne of office no one else is brave or wise enough to hold. To me you are always alive, always present, watching over your town and your loved ones, visiting them in dreams and visions, speaking through the wind in the trees, through the pulse of your lifeblood which survived your very death, as all of what you were and are and always shall be. Hail To Thee Laura Palmer Queen Of Heaven! Know That You Have All My Heart For Now And For Always. <3 <3 <3 Love, nathaxnne


Naga - Inanimate (2016)

Hateful, bleak Satanic doomsludge. I am powered by such noise. Hail Naga. <3 nathaxnne As Bonus, here is the official streaming video for 'Worm' a track available on the cd release of Inanimate

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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Yaphet Kotto - The Killer Was In The Government Blankets (1996)

Warm, openly emotive, politically charged 90's hxcx. One of the best albums of that decade. <3 nathaxnne

Sharon's Solo from Movement 2 of Dan Forrest's Jubliate Deo

My friend Sharon sent this to me. It is her performance of a solo in Dan Forrest's Jubilate Deo, Movement 2. I was so taken with it that I asked her if I could repost it here. I find it so dreamy and lovely and enchanting! Love and Hails to You Sharon! <3 nathaxnne

Screamin' Jay Hawkins - 'I Hear Voices' (1962)

witchvox!!!!!! Man Don't Stand A Chance <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

David Lynch & Angelo Badalamenti - Pink Room Ext. (1992)

Amazing extended cut of 'The Pink Room', my favorite piece of Twin Peaks musick!!! <3 nathaxnne

coffee cup lich 2 (kitty kat)

Susumu Yokota - Mother (2009)

Since even before the XX1st Century began, Susumu Yokota was one of my favorite electronic/ambient composers. Today seemed like a good day to listen to Mother, with its heavy vocal emphasis and chamber dreamgoth forms. This is really exquisite music. Love. <3 nathaxnne


Friday, March 17, 2017

fallen angel for whom the war has not yet ended 1

Altar Of Plagues - Teethed Glory & Injury (2013)

Really a classic album and one I associate with the itchy end of winter and the rise of early spring's dysphoria. <3 nathaxnne


Monday, March 13, 2017

Harrowing Of Heaven 1

Celestial Bodies - Spit Forth From Chaos (2017)

A movie in which Satan possesses a swarm of bees and talks and vomits theology and free jazz. Amazing. <3 nathaxn

Hail To Thee O Great Isis! Love! nathaxnne

All Them Witches - Sleeping Through The War (2017)

This has an amazing super-fuzzy, spacey and warm lysergic vibe which is both greatly mellow and highly activating. I love this album. <3 nathaxnne

it would be cool to be the kind of witch who 1

some people are saying that the brain survives brain death for ten minutes but what if it was 43 years?

Archgoat - Whore Of Bethlehem (2006)

Listening to Archgoat always makes me think about getting really really high and eating a bunch of girl scout cookies and having sex with Satan as we get high and compulsively overeat girlscout cookies and i wonder which girl scout cookies are Satan's favorite. i don't really eat cookies anymore even though i wish i did and maybe they could make organic savory girl scout cookies yeah like that is going to happen? i think Satan would be into thin mints even though Satan is all about th thiccness for me it is three-way between the peanut butter choco ones, the caramel/coconut/choco ones and the shortbread cookies and the lemon sandwich cookies, no that is a four-way. <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Elysia Crampton - American Drift (2015)

I am most taken with Elysia Crampton's American Drift, a meditation on place, on belonging, on alienness, and what composes those. <3 nathaxnne

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Post-Soviet Corroded Junk Electro to mess up your day or nite or when that distinction has ceased to matter. Word. <3 nathaxnne

The Hated - Every Song (1989)

Beautiful, luminous late 80's Annapolis emocore! <3 nathaxnne

Battalion Of Saints - Second Coming (1984)

What an amazing slab of 80's S. Cali hxcx!!! Right On!!! <3 nathaxnne

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flag of induced lactation 1

Endless Floods - II (2017)

Endless Floods II feels like if there was a bad time had at the Nu Age retreat and so went feral to 'find their bliss' in some abandoned city overgrown with ivy and evergreen. I dig this stuff. <3 nathaxnne

Thursday, March 9, 2017

David Bowie - 'Stay' Live On U.S. TV 1976

I miss you so. By 1976, Bowie's band was operating at telepathic levels of precision disco fire. I keep watching these videos over and over like it will summon back from beyond wherever and for what, just to keep me company in this hotel room for a little while? It is a deep ache that isn't going away with time. What is there in this life that is worth getting over? All The Love <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

Parking Lot Of Days Inn, After Sunset 3/9/17, Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Outside The License Bureau, After Sunset 3/8/17, Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Denzel Curry - 'ULT' from Imperial (2016)

SFLA Represent. I love this song. There is a high-contrast super-humid quality to SFLA which gives everything a saturated hi-def quality. This song (and the entire Imperial album) makes me really miss SFLA even more than I do when I am not listening to it. There has always been a goth feeling to Florida generally. It seems to summon it as a way to counter and complement the official FL of jello shots and wealthy indifference. This song makes me feel better in my longing. <3 nathaxnne

death church lich 1.1

Rudimentary Peni - Pope Adrian 37th Psychristiatric (1995)

Nick Blinko RESPECT. Hail To Thee!!! <3 nathaxnne

Monday, March 6, 2017

Girls Rituals - 'Black Cloud' (2017)

I was feeling kinda frustrated/wiped out/down and this Girls Rituals song/video made me feel better and more at peace with the world and with life generally. I listened to it like 3 times. Right On! Thannx Girls Rituals! <3 nathaxnne

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Sunrot - Sunrot (2014)

The creepy late-afternoon sunset feeling, especially in a deserted place or a place that isn't deserted but just looks deserted because it is full of things that can't be seen or full of the nonbeing at the heart of all phenomena. To me, Sunrot captures that feeling so much it makes the hair on the back of my neck involuntarily rise even as it soothes and makes feel better. This EP is one of my favorite things of the past decade and I CANNOT WAIT for a longer-form Sunrot something or other if they are so inclined. I am in love. <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Lotic - Heterocetera (2015)

The sound of unrelieved anxiety as a signal of being alive. This record is teeming with life. <3 nathaxnne

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Fvnerals - Wounds (2016)

Unearthly and mournful, like in a space outside or off to the side of our own, for the purpose of witness and remembrance. <3 nathaxnne

Cynthia - 'Change On Me' from Cynthia (1989)

This song is so incredible! The near-ambient synths! The vocal chopping! The percussive breakdowns! Hooray!!! <3 nathaxnne

Trinere - 'I Know You Love Me' (1984)

I love Trinere so much!!! Hooray For SFLA Freestyle!!! I had to pick one to put up here and this was an early success. Plus THAT GUITAR TONE!!! OMGoddess!!! <3 nathaxnne

Nice & Wild - 'Diamond Girl (Vocal/Disco Version)' (1986)

One of the defining anthems of 1980's Freestyle. This song was omnipresent in SFLA forever and ever. <3 nathaxnne

DJ Laz Powermix Power 96 August 1988

Amazing August 1988 Power 96 Megamix by Lazaro Mendez. Hail To Thee Late 1980's SFLA and Power 96! I am surprised this even still exists! Thank You For Its Preservation! I spent hours and hours listening at home and in cars for years and years. This is the sound of my teens and twenties!!! <3 nathaxnne

DJ Laz Power 96 Mix Around 1995-96

All the thanx to DJ Laz, Power 96 and Zir Zirdam (who uploaded this to YT from old cassettes)!!! This is the sound of my adolescence and early twenties. Mid-90's Power 96 And Especially DJ Laz Forever!!! (the kinda lo-fi sound quality almost exactly replicates listening to Power 96 out of cheap car speakers! :) I miss South Florida so much but I miss a South Florida which hasn't existed for twenty years or more. <3) <3 nathaxnne

SZA - 'Drew Barrymore' from Ctrl (2017)

The Cycle Of Mom Jeans has come Full Circle. SZA don't let it bring you down. U R Great! And Drew Barrymore is awesome. <3 nathaxanne PS - also not being a fan whatsoever of JK, I was somewhat loath to link to this, but it is a truly incredible performance of this song, one which brings out the Killing-Joke-Ripping-Off Era Of Nirvana so ably evoked by 'Drew Barrymore'. This album is going to be great.

Saturday, March 4, 2017

carrion bat lich with attendant demon 1.1

Jex Thoth - Jex Thoth (2008)

Jex Thoth's first album seems a near-perfect listen here in late winter/early spring where the temperatures are fluctuating wildly between the 70's and the teens on the Fahrenheit Scale in the Midatlantic Region Of North America. There used to be oak forests now there are townhomes and agribusiness plots and roads and box stores. Today the asphalt was highly reflective even as it absorbed the sun in the cold. The distortion on this album is raw and unstable, the vocals wavering but clear and plaintive. Spring is here even if and as it forgets. <3 nathaxn

Sea-Witch V.1 by Moss Angel Witchmonstr

sea-witch v.1 is a book and a part of a book which has manifested as told to moss angel witchmonstr (horse). it is a defiantly trans, defiantly queer book but it is a book for everyone. it is a book which has always been but is in a certain order and organization and flow as it needs to be now. it is a book about formation, about becoming and about having always been. it is a book about interpenetration and fragmentation and coming forth into, having come forth from. it is an immensely sad book to read not because it is sad but because so few books look into you as you look into them. it is less something to read and more something to know and to live with, to be read by, to be known by. sea-witch v.1 will make you feel less alone no matter who you are. sea-witch v.1 is a genealogy, a creation-story for those who never got theirs written down. sea-witch v.1 is a love story inside a love story inside a love story iteratively. it is something you hear inside of you as you drift off to sleep and hope you will remember in the morning or the night or whenever you wake up but you never remember enough to write it down the right way but carry it within you until it fades so you get told it again right at the moment of sleep. sea-witch v.1 is a version of that story written down in the way it had to be written down even though maybe there could have been many ways. sea-witch v.1 is a book that reads itself even as you read it and it reads itself to you as you read yourself to sea-witch v.1. there were times when i read sea-witch v.1 where i cried not because i was sad even though i was sad and i am sad but because i hadn't read sea-witch v.1 before even though it was there to be read. sea-witch v.1 is something which came to be now but has always been but not always in ways it would even recognize itself. however it is also by this differentiation from itself that sea-witch knows itself. you become a denizen, a sea-witchean, a part of sea-witch by reading and being read by and it is not something that you lose even if you get lost. i love this book. thank you sea-witch. thank you moss angel witchmonstr. <3 love, nathaxn
ps: awesome sea-witch logo!!! right on!!! :)

Sea-Witch V.1 is available in a bound edition here:

Sea-Witch V.1 is available as pdf here:

Moss Angel Witchmonstr (Horse) Patreon is here:

Acerbitas - Urkaosets Svarta Vredesdom (2011)

Some anti-cosmic hypno-swirl black metal from Sweden which is quite lovely. <3 nathaxn

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IOKOI - Liquefy (2016)

I super-heavy relate to this album. Disintegrated funk, rabbit-hole trip-hop, a hall of mirrors effect where the mirrors themselves are melting. The vibe of this is what is most important. A+ <3 nathaxn

Kurt Vile - 'Pretty Pimpin'' from b'lieve i'm goin down (2015)

Other than the pronouns, the disjunction/dissociation relative to self when confronting said person in the mirror and the not having the right clothes to feel good about, i can relate to this video and its encroaching alanis-isms. love alanis! i dig Kurt Vile too. but alanis! <3 nathaxn ps: really if you saw what i was wearing today... i had to put my hair in demi-pigtails just to counter the longsleeve!

a mountain of hair and pollen 2.1

a mountain of hair and pollen 1.1

Blanck Mass - World Eater (2017)

There is a lot of early 90's Hardcore and late 80's Rave and Mid-00's Fractal R&B Ghost-Grime in this new Blanck Mass album. A lot of light reflecting off of ice as it melts, slushing into the street or into muddy fields. <3 nathaxn

Friday, March 3, 2017

Turkeys Walk In A Circle Around A Dead Cat (March 2, 2017)

Signs And Wonders! One of the most amazing videos I have ever seen on these internets. Hail @TheReal_JDavis for recording this!!! <3 nathaxn Original Link: