Dear Friends And Readers: Due To Extremely Kind Assistance I have been able to get some medicine, water, gas and I am going out to get a little food with what I have remaining in order to prepare for the possibility of a 5-day shut-in due to Winter Storm Harper. I am very frightened. My executive functioning is poor and so I am not good at stress planning under time crunches. I am worried I will run out of something important and be trapped. It snowed last night so I am a little worried about going out to the car even this afternoon. I called out of work for Sat/Sun which will lose income but it is too dangerous. Extreme Weather, Disability, Low-Wage Shift Work & Neurological Issues are a bad combo which increasingly many of us have to face and this wasn't an accident. It was worth more for a rapacious political class to force someone like me into the labor market for almost nothing to be on the receiving/distribution end of the labor of people who are in an even worse situation than i am and the conditions which created this were created intentionally to allow vast corporate wealth to make its own operational environment, to remake the world in a more pleasing fashion and this is what it chose, a hot, dangerous, impoverished, poisonous world where nearly everyone is terrified and sick and desperate and dying a little every day waiting for the superstorm which takes out your home or town or island as austerity pushes down harder and harder. We do not have to live this way. We can choose a different life. <3
ps: if you would like to make a donation so i am not on a steep icy precipice of monetary fear you can at google pay via numbatwombat21 at gmail but if not don't worry. the immediate immediate crisis is being dealt with and i should be alright through tues? it is a little ways off so i worry but things are not dire. <3
Friday, January 18, 2019
Wednesday, January 16, 2019
Request For Help January 2019 Edition Revised
Dear Friends And Readers:
I wrote and deleted a version of this earlier and was freaking out but now I am really freaking out. There is a snow storm coming which will end up potentially trapping me in my apartment. I have to get an emergency car repair of a drive belt which will cost $150. I have to get medicine and water and food in case I cannot leave. In order to get to my car I have to walk blocks down an alley. I have only today to prepare for this storm and I have no money. I was able to get enough to cover the car repair but that is all I have in my bank account. I do not like asking for money on the internet. The intersection of poverty and disability and mental illness is a self-reinforcing iron triangle. I am so exhausted I don't even know how I am going to get what I need accomplished. I am going to miss a work day probably on Sunday if not Saturday or Monday which means that a lot of my future income will also not happen. I am really worried. If you can help and anything at this point would, I can receive monies at numbatwombat21 at gmail through google pay. It would mean i would be safe and secure through the weekend and might be able to watch movies and write something. I don't make art in the hopes that people will donate money to me online and i have never sought for it to be a source of income but i can't make art if i am in a state of illness and panic and fear and injury to a point where they overwhelm everything else. I hate being in this situation of not being able to cover expenses every month. I am working the maximum amount that the government will allow me to on disability even though working is almost impossible for me just so I can afford rent, food and medicine along with what I get for disability which is roughly 2/3 of what I made as a library clerk in 2009. Being able to get high-cbd medical marijuana has changed my life. It is why I can work, how I found this apartment which I totally need to leave because I am suffering from the stores I share this floor with continually receiving inventory and dropping it into our shared floor which leaves me in a state of continual inflammation in my nervous system. It is horrible. My therapist has recommended that I go back to the behavioral health clinic I went to 2 1/2 years ago to get case management so I can get help moving and with rent and everything and I have an appointment to go but I am skeptical. I wish I could have a safe car and a safe apartment and enough food and medicine and medical care. I got sidetracked sorry. High-cbd medical marijuana helps with everything and although I am a state-qualified patient the state offers no financial assistance to anyone with the medicine so even though it is one of two prescribed medicines I take I pay for it entirely out of pocket. I believe it is helping slow or stave off progressive brain damage/dementia and in the short term is that which allows me to have any quality of life at all. I go once or twice a week to a local dispensary. I use dry flower as it is most full-spectrum medicine and also the cheapest. This requires a vaporizer, of which I have gone through 4 since August. The ones that they sell are not so good and they are expensive and clog and melt (apparently). They add an additional layer of expense that if I could use like a bong (prohibited by the state and my landlord) I would gladly do so at this point because it is a good backup method but I am terrified of losing the only medicine other than acupuncture which has helped my chronic problems throughout my life. What is funny is that this letter is rambling because I haven't had enough of my medicine today. I will probably delete this one too. None of them are any good. Anyway please help today if you can. I am really worried. Thank You In Advance. Also if you read this and cannot help or don't want to that is totally ok with me. Please don't feel obligated. I just don't know what to do in this situation. <3
I wrote and deleted a version of this earlier and was freaking out but now I am really freaking out. There is a snow storm coming which will end up potentially trapping me in my apartment. I have to get an emergency car repair of a drive belt which will cost $150. I have to get medicine and water and food in case I cannot leave. In order to get to my car I have to walk blocks down an alley. I have only today to prepare for this storm and I have no money. I was able to get enough to cover the car repair but that is all I have in my bank account. I do not like asking for money on the internet. The intersection of poverty and disability and mental illness is a self-reinforcing iron triangle. I am so exhausted I don't even know how I am going to get what I need accomplished. I am going to miss a work day probably on Sunday if not Saturday or Monday which means that a lot of my future income will also not happen. I am really worried. If you can help and anything at this point would, I can receive monies at numbatwombat21 at gmail through google pay. It would mean i would be safe and secure through the weekend and might be able to watch movies and write something. I don't make art in the hopes that people will donate money to me online and i have never sought for it to be a source of income but i can't make art if i am in a state of illness and panic and fear and injury to a point where they overwhelm everything else. I hate being in this situation of not being able to cover expenses every month. I am working the maximum amount that the government will allow me to on disability even though working is almost impossible for me just so I can afford rent, food and medicine along with what I get for disability which is roughly 2/3 of what I made as a library clerk in 2009. Being able to get high-cbd medical marijuana has changed my life. It is why I can work, how I found this apartment which I totally need to leave because I am suffering from the stores I share this floor with continually receiving inventory and dropping it into our shared floor which leaves me in a state of continual inflammation in my nervous system. It is horrible. My therapist has recommended that I go back to the behavioral health clinic I went to 2 1/2 years ago to get case management so I can get help moving and with rent and everything and I have an appointment to go but I am skeptical. I wish I could have a safe car and a safe apartment and enough food and medicine and medical care. I got sidetracked sorry. High-cbd medical marijuana helps with everything and although I am a state-qualified patient the state offers no financial assistance to anyone with the medicine so even though it is one of two prescribed medicines I take I pay for it entirely out of pocket. I believe it is helping slow or stave off progressive brain damage/dementia and in the short term is that which allows me to have any quality of life at all. I go once or twice a week to a local dispensary. I use dry flower as it is most full-spectrum medicine and also the cheapest. This requires a vaporizer, of which I have gone through 4 since August. The ones that they sell are not so good and they are expensive and clog and melt (apparently). They add an additional layer of expense that if I could use like a bong (prohibited by the state and my landlord) I would gladly do so at this point because it is a good backup method but I am terrified of losing the only medicine other than acupuncture which has helped my chronic problems throughout my life. What is funny is that this letter is rambling because I haven't had enough of my medicine today. I will probably delete this one too. None of them are any good. Anyway please help today if you can. I am really worried. Thank You In Advance. Also if you read this and cannot help or don't want to that is totally ok with me. Please don't feel obligated. I just don't know what to do in this situation. <3
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