Sunday, April 30, 2017

Think About This (1999)

Synth-drowned, doom-laden r&b/folk safety anthem of the millennium. Hail!!! <3 nathaxnne

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

rabbit 5

dampers then enforced

deeper wound fuck it, a sigh known to alternate currents, which would include direct current and indirect current (dampers then enforced), rats entomb a happy home, sleep in piles. hinges and molding removed and hosed down for. a refusal lodged: they can't kill us all.

<3 rats forever!!!!


this rot like forever down the sink or splatter on the side of the sink and then never coming off or back up off. what is inside isn't anymore, gutted is oversharing. starfish scars open to receive only to puke ungratefully. crookd pentagram wobbles in candlelight, everything hums like a shitty appliance off its foundation. what is here has a name but isn't telling. where's the fun in that? ice-cream drops unwiped to dry. turtleshell split to sun; calico, fabricant. tallow like marrow unsheathed, never going back. a focal point undrawn but drawing-in, the kind that stops speech and does. coffinless, breathes in dirt, anaerobic.

strigiform channel lich 1

levitating, crying 1

Hole - 'Garbadge Man' from Pretty On The Inside (1991)

I played my cassette of Pretty On The Inside until it melted. No other album I had in high school reflected how I felt about my body, about my desire, about my shame, about choosing delirium and oblivion over purposefulness and direction. To be incarnate is to experience body horror. To live is to want to die. Nothing else, no other album, came close to how I really felt. The sound of Courtney's voice was a voice I heard in me all the time. I didn't admit to this then, even as I wore out this album through overuse. I wanted to disappear. I wanted to fall down and never get up. I wanted my guts to spill out and never get sewn back inside. I was the bad sister, so bad at it to not even be read as a sister. Ugly and full of holes, self-inflicted and otherwise. The first three Hole albums are forever classics. Pretty On The Inside was my private anthem, the song I sang to myself. <3 Courtney!!! <3 nathaxnne

Monday, April 24, 2017

iceberg wedge lich 1 (for Mika Vainio)

Mika Vainio - 'it's a muthang' (2010)

I wanted to include some of Mika Vainio's techno bangers, and this single rules, especially side A! <3 nathaxnne

yarn floe lich 1 (for Mika Vainio)

Mika Vainio - Kajo (2000)

Starting in the mid-to-late 1990's, Mika Vainio's electronic musick would have a permanent and durable influence on everything i made post-exposure. Solo or in collaboration (especially with Pan(a)sonic and the albums made with Alan Vega), Mika Vainio's work is among my most beloved ever. I am very sad to hear of his death. It has been hard for me to pick out an album to post here in tribute, but this morning I wanted something warm and droney and crackling, and Kajo has done just that and I love it so so much. Hails And Love To Mika! <3 nathaxnne


iron cringed, a crumple zone earmarked for. slotted bark as counting/not counting. leaves cover for your absence, barely or poorly, but unasked. infection travels or replaces, sometimes visible. alignment not discarded because how? a vacancy that cannot be filled in, only rotated through, clumsy as the tilt of the earth, an injury only compensated for by a lurch, what we call seasonal availability: a managed turbulence, a pretend controlled skid, a waiting through even if unable to move.

seasonal availability is subject to itself, dropping out or rearranging the order of presentation. sometimes, like today's night in the car on the way to the food store, hopes for volcanic ash blockadings increase sharply before forgotten like when losing one's way or going over unexpected speed bumps, jarring the car or out of focus, an unsafe driving practice even if directly prior to parking and staring out the windshield for minutes at nothing before collecting the scattered things and going into the store to give up whatever is left.

tuesday is always gone, even before it gets here, even when here, but when gone a kind of superimposed blurring, unevenly matching with every other tuesday never remembered as tuesday but nonetheless missing from the week like a hole in the gumline queried absently while shopping or cursing silently or less than silently. this wasn't chosen but reiterated, unrecorded.

filigree, a spiralling out, burn mark atop burn mark, having been turned around, a lack of spatial orientation misaddressed and now

a day like a hand bitten off by a wolf

Sunday, April 23, 2017

guardian at the threshold 1

Lunar Shadow - Far From Light (2017)

Ok so if one were to take late 80's/early 90's soft metal balladry and forge it into towering spires of cold epic derived from the Ever-Flowing Streams of Swedish Melodicism And Second Wave Ice Fortresses, it would sound pretty much like Lunar Shadow and It Would Rule because it does. <3 nathaxnne

Saturday, April 22, 2017

unsacristry 1

Craven Idol - The Shackles Of Mammon (2017)

Cruel and pitiless, Cravel Idol bring thrashened black metal corrupt and despoiled just the way I like it!!! This album is built to withstand many multiple listens!!! <3 nathaxnne


antler pieces and bone fragments gathered from vomit showers for use in augury. what is coming is what is here and it isn't so good. we used to say something else, some other words. now we just talk in insignia earned and covered up like what never gets looked for in a hillside collapse, anoxic, preserved unmoving for tens of thousands of years, a toolkit, medicinal moss, partially carved animals out of those animals. a hangover that lasts 100000x longer than the cause until the cause is rendered extinct, and what can be rendered from that extinction has itself gone extinct.

waking up less and less every day with more and more holes until the holes are the subject of every sentence, what sentences can be formed with what words are left to use. there is a vague recall of there being more words than this once, their general shape and movement, what patterns they could make, but not their names because to recall their names would recall them to life or would require a better grade of necromancy than is readily available in the discarded necklace-bags of the most immediately identifiable ex-practitioners. this isn't that, whatever this is. to name the dead as dead or to acknowledge their names as forgotten even if they themselves, the fact of their deaths, is not.

as if to ponder meant when it rained the ground absorbed so much that it pooled on the surface such that it couldn't evaporate and things came to live in there and because.

when does an aftermath become the thing itself? that queston sounds dumb even as it is written but doesn't want to be unwritten so let slide, burying whatever unseen under

dust inhalation/chromosomal injuries

(Hungry For Stink is the best L7 album forever and ever <3 nathaxnne)

Imperious Pheasant Of Malice Lich 1

L7 - 'Deathwish' (Live Jan. 1993)

Rock Power Forever & Bonus Live L7! 'Questioning My Sanity' Live On French TV! (so into Donita's eye makeup!!!) <3 nathaxnne

Friday, April 21, 2017

gorgonopsia 1

lopsided breathing, vaulted sabre, differentiated like forks in a drawer, awaiting deploy in schema that no longer are seen, a flicker, a detachment, holding down at the neck only to retreat. rivers narrow, sometimes cease or pool in cul de sacs, turning back on themselves or flow like smashed mirrors. a buildup or a patina, conscious and grown, given directives, an LED inset. emptied blister paks, spent versus histological response or, in any case an armor, negatively crushed capsules or bent, a bright and opaque scarring.

hunt and peck, successive tolerations. resurfaced terrain. motion sickness. "crocodilian gulp" = unit of tessellation unfitting, unrepeating, an unlocked door. warlock-hatted untellable from witchunter-hatted at 13 paces counterclockwished = the sound when cinnamon roll tubes are stabbed or twisted to plosion an example of a successful warding. circular burns in a field? a contaminate crash with all particles vacuumed or dissolved close enough by new morning sunbeams. a grand ingestation, a query. to crush bone to get at what is inside, a present untensiled.

a silo goes in both directions. how far is uncertain. could be mapped on itself if turned in space. a cloverleaf similarly like something brought out and put away after dinner parties shutter down, shivering to a halt then expulsive like before and after the noose.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

which precursors jar

clouds slip atop and under each other. a hole at the center, spinning undone, pushes a huff's aside; expanding a minor schism beckons downness, unelaborative: a valley in the shadow of what a valley is but more than just that: glacial reversal, like a card turned rightside up but in the wrong way the vibes wreckage hang out unwanted yet undispelled sap which precursors jar a foretelling interred untold; embarks sludgily, slow to get up to, shaky at the counter, scorpiant enthronement post-usurpation, riffaged/rifled through bad dreams, a cloak of them, knitted from like bones having forgotten, a meal plan for today's largest predators.

lichmage entranced projects aetheric servitor 1

nirvana mtv live and loud 1993

so the witch mountain opened up like a sea parting but a sea of maybe granite? and inside was full of marigolds and poppies and they poured out decapitated or partially intact onto what was left of the floodplain and replaced where the water had been and in the breaking was okay and entered into and never wanted to leave. everything leaves, everyone leaves one day but until then it is always i will never leave i will remain here i will forget the passing of time the turning of the sun and the moon and i will grow old here and sometimes that is true and sometimes that is not, we can learn to breathe whatever this is that isn't air and it will pass into our shared circulatory systems and out again only to be rebreathed reversing or amplifying atmospheric concentrations of stuff here inside witch mountain now opened up and pulsing its veins of gold and sunset orange. it doesn't hurt or if it hurts it hurts like a cut exposed to air or what passes for air and the friction that passes atop and thru like wind through a canyon mostly because it is some sort of wind or different in scale even though everything hangs where it was exhaled like dumb crystals or collected exhaust. a spell collides with a spell collides with a spell extensive however long.

field mint is the only mint native to north america or so i am told or i read it somewhere recently. it occasionally forms a triune with peppermint and spearmint but has a space in its name in which i found confusion. it is like other mints a topical aseptic and antibiotic and a mild anesthetic.

 <3 nathaxnne

Witch Sigil 42017a

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Bless Me Hentai Mecha Angel 1

Crushed - Deep User (2017)

Dirty NYHC swathed in layers of noise. One of the best things I have heard in 2017. Recommended by John Darnielle. <3 nathaxnne

Monday, April 17, 2017

Black Mare - Field Of The Host (2013)

for when waves of sadness or aloneness come but needing something there still like a shawl or a blanket or a cloak that is cool to the touch but insulates and warms anyway <3 nathaxnne

Teenage Fanclub - 'Everything Flows' from A Catholic Education (1990)

Teenage Fanclub had such an amazing guitar tone & interplay, so warm & organic. I listened to A Catholic Education SO MANY TIMES circa 1990-1991. Love Forever <3 nathaxnne

twitchtail lich 1

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Claudio Simonetti & The Simonetti Project - 'Kiss Me Dracula' from Dario Argento's Dracula OST

I am so in love with the theremin-goth post-evanescence vampiric bombast of this song. The movie in which it dwells is one of my all-time most-beloved Dario Argento movies, and Simonetti's regal near-dungeonsynth score is a major aspect of that love. Hail Dario! Hail Claudio! Hail Dracula! <3 nathaxnne

acid bat lich 1

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

Helene Cattet & Bruno Forzani - Laissez Bronzer Les Cadavres (trailer, 2017)

It is no secret that one of my favorite movies ever is The Strange Color Of Your Body's Tears by Helene Cattet and Bruno Forzani. That their new movie is an adaptation of a novel I haven't read and know nothing about but involves decadent Mediterranean action spilling over into apparently a lot of guns looks as awesome as one might expect. I could not help but want to share! <3 nathaxnne

David Bowie - 'No Plan' from No Plan (EP 2017)

This is where I am. A place that is no place without a vector. I am not here. There is a here. I can see it. I know it is there, but I can only interact with it like a ghost might interact with something or from a long distance away. There is a here and there is a me but they don't really connect except through intermediaries. I want to be home. I want there to be a home to be in. A home which is a den. Which has familiars and a ground and medicines. A place where I can be real, synchronous with environs. This is no place but here I am. David I miss you so much. Thank You for being here with me, wherever we are together. <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Alice Cooper - 'Teenage Frankenstein' from Constrictor (1986)

teenage frankenstein is almost redundant. both monster and that which makes the monster manifest, composed out of uncontrollable urges and desires that precede yourself and wanting so badly to have a self which can embody the fulfillment of those desires. teenage frankenstein is finally the moment at which identification with the scary thing that lives under the bed and you are the scary thing that lives under the bed and it is awesome. what could be more awesomely teenage kicks than being able to channel the trauma and damage and need which torments and haunts day and night into a form visible to all, even dads and cops, such that it cannot be denied any longer, not by anyone. this is what i was scared of all along except that now it is back from the dead, fulci-rotten and unkillable because no longer buried. so much of adult life is premised upon not talking about something, not invoking it, means that we get to pretend it isn't, that it isn't so. we rename, hush with euphemism, that which we have never understood, never bothered to reckon with, until it comes for us, unstoppably. no matter how long we have managed to outrun it, or allow it to kill us bit by bit until that which is dead outweighs that which still lives. we pass along what lives and that which has died in us to our children, unruly admixtures of our own failed struggles, forgotten or half-forged desires, locked-away fears, methodologies of avoidance. we claim this state of affairs must be maintained for their well-being, a state of affairs that they instinctively know is wrong, and thoroughly reject once even partially grasped. to be a teenage frankenstein is to be something made out of patchwork deaths shocked into sudden, immediate life, filled with and giving off a burning stench of utter wrongness. to escape the fate of your family, of your own destined end, kicking and thrashing, fleeing from as much as to anything at all, blindly into the night. we keep driving and driving, laughing maniacally, gleefully, until stopping is no longer an option and we keep going, sleepless with inertia and fear focused into a form of determination, until it is decades later and we find ourselves exhausted, pursued by something we cannot name or articulate but we know is there, never stopping, never resting and the only way to survive is to act as if it is not there, right behind us all of the time because then it might catch us for real, which we know deep inside it is going to anyway when we cannot keep out of its reach and maybe we don't want to so much anymore and it seems like a relief or an escape, so much time spent just out of reach seems like time wasted, and so we turn around and there it always has been, skull-faced, worm-engraven, paused and wavering, until leaning in for a kiss and you have never wanted anything more and finally, finally it is here. <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Tyrant - Reclaim The Flame (2007)

If you are going to make a Venom/Hellhammer Atavistic Black Metal band, it is pretty awesome to make songs about doing just that in which you refer to yourselves and your unholy mission in third person to seem more epic and unholy. I am the sort of person who never ever gets tired of this sort of jam so, yeah. <3 nathaxnne

Ocron - Sunlight On Mutant World (2017)

Just Beautiful!!! A triumphant, emotionally open album, Ocron goes full sampladelic/plunderphonic in pursuit of Castle Sunrise Vistas! Vaporous and bottomless! This era of Ocron is truly going for it. If this is a world in which you want to enter and not leave, at least for a long while, please go and visit! Turretsynth? Maybe! Love To Ocron Forever!!! <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne