necro-lantern 1.6

Death SS - 'Kings Of Evil' from Black Mass (1989)

I love Death SS so much. Hair-metal-era Death SS is for whatever reason even more exciting because it reminds me of when Alice Cooper's Trash album which I adore and I wish that Death SS had starred in an entire tv horror movie directed by Claudio Fragasso because that would rule so hard. <3 Happy Halloween!! <3 Also why did Death SS not open for Motley Crue on the Dr. Feelgood tour??? That would have been ridiculously awesome. Here is another awesome video from Black Mass, 'In The Darkness'!!! it is a power ballad! <3

Mary Margaret O'Hara - 'Body's In Trouble' from Miss America (1988)

does everyone have a list of songs or part-songs that they sing to themselves all the time? I do and this is one that I have sung to myself randomly almost as much as like 'Purple Rain' or 'Violet' or something and it is one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite albums and i feel like this so often and i am including the video and not just the song because it is important to SEE Mary Margaret O'Hara as her body is in trouble. My body is always in trouble. <3 PS: this video is the most 1988 video ever and i love it for that <3 <3

I Am So Psyched To Read This

Halloween III (2011)

HALLOWEEN III
kitchen knife repurposed thru 3rd eye, leaking black stuff astrally everywhere til light fades out in slow waves dulling to whispers the whispers that say doesn't hurt quite so much anymore from here where its not, isn't not, spectral discharge / reverse flower

the knife is family

, a sharp breath halted mid-intake, a lament stifled and plowed under again, an without produced from wither and fray, exhaustion a surface troubled but never broken

to be claimed by or carried off, the doom marked is the doom paid, giving over, an undone here in the making

all the blood spilt back into the earth, into and around the roots of trees, roots of deadened stalks cast off their winding sheet, where it currents and pools and dries curled in itself, a rust or stain to be determined later, but not for a long time because at first it lay upon the earth, stunned and turning cold in the night air, smeared across grass, flecked in dirt, attempting recall of what there was before this because now only this now and for forever but no, always now a falling or seeping into, a plowed under and under again, far down where light cannot reach, where breath unheard, unmoving, down closer to the fire about which all turns ceaselessly, a fire which pulls all to all about itself, a fire we will never know but always feel a fire we may wish would go out for the love of all that is still good yet we are here after, after all and all again, weeping tears into the earth that will never reach, will never stain what is gone is never gone what is here will always be and blessed be and blessed be  <3 <3 <3

Happy Halloween

<3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

DamyenThaWikkidMurdaChylde - 666 Halloween Mixx 2017

this mixx courtesy of my friend pd187 has made my night on october eve!!! horrorcore forever! <3

Sial - Binasa (2018)

Awesome Singaporean hxcx fury <3 <3 <3 !!!

Hope Sandoval And The Warm Inventions - 'Trouble' from Through The Devil Softly (2009)

Such a lovely autumnal late night album for all the autumns past and the ones which will come and the ones which will not <3

action movies in the 1980's where a single (usually cishet white male) figure serially murders a bunch of people on their way to some sort of final denouement where they face off in single combat with an adversary who is also some mirrored version of themselves, unambiguously evil, are a daytime mirror of the nocturnal slasher, focusing subjecthood on the single cishet male agent of violence, rather than the community of individuals which are eliminated one by one via this agent until only one victim is left (usually cishet female) to confront the agent of violence or die. Slasher movies resite the POV with the traumatized, both on an individual and communal basis. We don't know much about the daily lives of the endless (frequently non-white, non-english speaking) people killed by the action hero but the slasher spends a lot of time getting to know through mundane activity the people hurt and forever changed by violence.

(at the halfway? mark of the 1980's slasher/action dichotomy lies a common ancestor in the 1970's (rape) revenge movie which can operate in both patriarchal and quasi-feminist modalities wherein a survivor of trauma/loss takes revenge upon the group of perpetrators. these movies give a semblance of agency and lived reality to the perpetrators of the initiatory trauma in order to ground the film when violence comes to them. the 1980's films are fundamentally different because they are about the stark evacuation of agency and personhood from either collective targets or the individual violent actor

((the atomized individual agent of violence vs. community is indicative of the reagan/thatcher war upon and denial of society cloaked in virulent anti-communist rhetoric. only the individual possesses agency. individual agency is experienced in solitude, in an evacuation of selfhood innately tied to loss of community, loss of reflection of the individual in and among others, become a not-person, a death-dealer

no gods, only monsters

no gods

only monsters


children of lilith

children of angrboda


swarm upon the surface of this earth
burrow down deep into her cavernous maws
hide from the unforgiving light of day
creep, crawl and fly, coil and uncoil

to walk up and down in the sun
to lay cast upon the earth in shadow
to weep under the moon


we are abomination

we are many

we are here
we are and have always been
we are among you
we are you

let us join claws

<3 <3 <3

URGENT REQUEST!!! :(

Dear Friends And Readers:

I Screwed Up Big-Time And Now I Can't Make Rent For September.

I have some pretty serious developmental disability issues. It is very difficult for me to engage in new patterns. I just started going to church this week after making plans to do it over 2 years ago. I don't have a washer/dryer and I was getting help from my ex in doing laundry but they have been busy over summer so what i have done as a response is really dumb. I work at a big box store so every time i needed clean undershirts, underwear and socks i bought new ones in bulk. This came out to over $50 a week and now, on top of other existing expenses, i cannot pay my rent for september. I am decompensating right now. In general i have been doing better with finances, cutting back on supplements, etc. Also I will admit that i purchased a couple of new dresses this pay period because i am trying to present en femme whenever possible. This has been honestly necessary for my mental health. i tried to make an appointment with an lgbtq health provider to get therapy that would be covered by medicare two weeks ago and no one ever called me back. I have been desperate to transition social and medically and so now i am just forging ahead on my own. I am sorry  i am rambling. So my rent every month is $540. It is due today and I cannot make it. I need help in making it through to October. I am sorry I am such a loser. Please Help If You Can!!! I can receive monies through google pay at numbatwombat21@gmail.com I am so sorry. <3 <3 <3 love nathaxnne 

PS - Please note that in order to purchase a new dress (or a new top which i need in order to work), this represents 3-4 hours of labor. Due to being disabled, I can only work around 20 hours a week as a cashier, which is extremely painful but i have to do it in order to live. I am trying to do my best, but it is so hard alone. :(

Status Update

Transient + Bastard Noise - Sources Of Human Satisfaction (2018)

So yeah I can listen to any number of Bastard Noise split/collaboration whatevers and they will undoubtedly wind up here with me chattering on from my skull teeth about them and how great they are and yeah i will say that it seems like noise and industrial inflected grind & hxcx is having a moment nowadays and i rather like that moment <3 nathaxnne ps this has my favorite album cover art of 2018 maybe right on S. Jordan Palmer & Alexa Simpson! <3

08202018

leaf barriers

leaf barriers,   ventilation    //    the jawbone of an ass

deflect  deflect

summer's ending

summer's ending find out how. you were wrong when you said it was no big deal. it can cost lives. the end of everything  a blast of death  what you want.  applied pushback.  haptic worry (fashion) . nitrous origin attempted : do this tangled more    a ton of bricks.

Aretha Franklin Sings 'Mary Don't You Weep' On The Soul Train Christmas Special 1979

<3 <3 <3

Aretha Franklin Sings The National Anthem On Thanksgiving In Detroit 2016

Everything about this gives me chills. Love & Hails To Thee Always Aretha <3 <3 <3

Shea Diamond - 'I Am Her' from Seen It All (2018)

this song means so much to me. thank you shea diamond <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

Essenz - Manes Impetus (2018)

gets over on vibrating srkonk-freq into repetition repetition repetition. makes me feel better. <3

Void Rot - Consumed By Oblivion (2018)

So my jam. hooray for MN crawling death doom!!! healing necro vibes!!! <3

break

i would rather have elaborated this with greater formality and concision later on, but i am on a daily basis, struck by the terrible absurdity that while 1/3 of the American People might be open to the possibility that Hilary Clinton and Tom Hanks run an international, possibly interdimensional, satanic/reptoid/illuminati pedophile/child sacrifice operation that Donald Trump is fighting in a secret apocalyptic shadow war wherein he figures prominently as its literal messiah, policies personally agreed to by Donald Trump and Jeff Sessions and John Kelly and Kristjen Nielsen and Alex Azar and on and on and on have created an ever-expanding for-profit system of prisons and internment camps to hold children forcibly separated from their parents, camps in which they torn from their parents and flown in the middle of the night clandestinely in a manner reminiscent of how the united states shackled and hooded and flew those they wanted to torture in Guantanamo or other countries, camps in which those children are subject to coerced injections of psychotropic drugs, verbal/psychological/sexual abuse at the hands of staff and others. (When told that they could not keep separating children from their parents, the Administration has simply accelerated the Obama-era strategy of  building whole-family indefinite detention camps). This essential schism, a fundamental epistemic break in our country, worries at me above and beyond the immediate rage and sorrow and dumb horror..

*Pizzagate was a hypothesis. QAnon acts more like a religious movement. Indeed, they have taken on the purposefully evocative, deeply American mantle of a 'Great Awakening'. QAnon is fragmentary, omnidirectional, swarming. Pizzagate is disprovable, theoretically. QAnon has no real core ideology other than the cosmically-anointed rightness of Donald Trump At War With Satan.

** My best hypothesis is that QAnon is a weaponized ARG'/ITE. Recent advances in sustained mytho-narrative mass storytelling recruit individuals to become part of the narrative even as they contribute to its spread, strengthening and authoring in turn and explicitly involve blending online/IRL modalities. I initially agreed that QAnon is more than likely a 4chan/8chan troll operation. Now i am not so sure. I also think it is possible that QAnon may have begun life as a 4chan troll operation but now it can be used and authored by anyone so current provenance is unclear.

Denzel Curry - BLACK METAL TERRORIST | 13MT from TA13OO (2018) !!! DON'T WATCH OR BE CAREFUL IF SENSITIVE TO SEIZURE/MIGRAINE!!!

This song rules. Thnkx 2 pd187 for letting me know. i didn't even know there was new Denzel Curry. I am out of loop. SFLA represent always. 'I Am The Mark Of The Beast' word. <3

update 8/1/18

since i was last here i went to work with a brain injury too bad to go to work with and told co-workers there i was suicidal which got me referred to hr. i spoke to hr and assured them i was not going to be an issue but my affect was so weird that i felt it went horribly. in the immediate aftermath of a serious brain injury, every emotion gets run through an 'anger' filter so i am sure i was saying things in a way that sounded bad. i explained the whole of my situation in 5 minutes to an hr person i hadn't really spoken to before. it was a nightmare and i am still considering resigning from my job. it is VERY important to me to be professional at all times at work and the fact that i couldn't maintain in the aftermath of this brain injury makes me feel just terrible. i got my car back today and i am terrified it is damaged internally by waters and molds. it does seem to be kind of acting weird. the transmission especially. i only drove it three or four times before it flooded so i don't remember exactly. the people at the body shop were nice to me. i told them i was having difficulty communicating because of my brain injury. i think this was all covered by my insurance which i just got so i guess that is good. i am still in so much pain but i got a more powerful medicine today so i hope it will help me heal. i am terrified to go on into the future. i am terrified of dementia. my only choices though, are to live and try to apply the regimen i am using to live with brain injury or to do something to not live. i don't want to do that. i want to try and survive my brain injuries and if i can help other people survive theirs. i am very sorry if my statements have been worrisome as of late. i am trying to pull myself together. if i survive this, i am more determined than ever to pursue hrt.
thank you all for reading this and if you are friends, for being my friends. i can only hope to be as good a friend in return. <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

ps: i don't know if my ability to write or make art has survived this round of injury but i hope it has and if it has i will continue to share it here. <3

:( :( :(

i had such severe anxiety about buying a used car let alone getting a loan from a family member, something i desperately wanted to avoid and then having it for one day and then the cabin flooding from extreme weather is a worst-case scenario for me. i will never be ok after this. i cannot keep this car. i will never feel safe in it. it was a car which i did feel safe in. i am having such a bad time. i don't think i can get over this. i just want my life to end.

:( :(

I don't want to live anymore with a brain injury. I have tried to cope with it for 8 years. In that time it has cost me everything and more. I am not and cannot be a person. I struggled to be a person before my brain injury. Now it is impossible. I have to accept that because I am the thing that makes the decisions that I am the cause of all of the problems. As long as this thing is, nothing can be good. I am too dumb to live, a wretched, squalling thing.

:(

i wanted this to be a celebratory post. two days ago i arranged to get a 2003 Pontiac Vibe with 90,000 miles on it clean inside with two owners runs great etc through a $5800 loan over 4 years at 10% interest through my mom which was really nice of her  and i was so proud of my car and i loved it and i was worried about picking it up because of the torrential rains and flash floods but i got it two days ago and then last night my new car flooded because there was so much rain it overwhelmed the HVAC drainage and flooded the cabin and might have gotten up from below. now i am completely bereft. i am not asking for anything. i just want to die. i hate myself. i hate being this thing. i am so awful at being alive. i am the curse. i am what is wrong.

dresses from today

these are the only dresses i have yet acquired that i am entirely happy with but i think i may have gotten them each in a size too large. i want to dress like Violet from F13V and these reminded me of that mid-eighties goth/psych/industrial nexus? i don't have a closet or a wardrobe or a full-length mirror or i would have a photo of me wearing these. the last dress i bought i didn't like at all but these are pretty cool. <3

Mutilation Rites - Chasm (2018)

I am digging the new Mutilation Rites album's ability to take deaththrash riffs and plug them into a black metal song structure. When everything aligns it locks in and becomes super hypnotic which is very rad. <3

Pig Destroyer - 'Army Of Cops' from Head Cage (2018)

thats the anthem. this is the song i needed to hear right now today. nu=pxdx is the best damn thing ever. groove metal 4 life. <3 <3 <3

Neckbeard Deathcamp - White Nationalism Is For Basement Dwelling Losers (2018)

i gotta say this owns in a viscerally satisfying way. make sure to read the lyrics. <3 nathaxnne ps: thnx to kim kelly's online for rec! <3

Girl Werewolf - classical exorcisms (2018)

OK so I am like BEYOND EXCITED to be able to put the BRAND NEW OFFICIAL DEBUT of most beloved GIRL WEREWOLF with RADICALLY AMPED LEVELS of doompunk psych damage. full of love and desperation and hastily executed midnight hexes fading into the ether like smoke from a blown candle. i can say with absolutely no hesistancy that 'morlock' is one of my favorite songs of all time. when i first heard it i put it on repeat over and over and over again. this world is in seizure, thrashing on the bathroom floor with its eyes wild and tongue protruding. smoke weed everyday. hail satan. blast Girl Werewolf out of whatever speakers available. <3

Paara - Riitti (2018)

Epic folkened & doomened black metal tales of ancient spectral lore! <3

Important Update 7/15/18

Dear Friends And Readers: I have managed to extend my car rental for another week. I am most grateful to those who were able to help. This week I also have managed to secure a down payment for a car from my mother of around a thousand dollars. This is all she is able to do and I am thankful for her help. This week starting tomorrow and with someone to accompany me in the form of my ex, I am going to try and purchase a car. I don't have a credit score apparently. I don't know how it will go and I am terrified. I don't know if I will be able to secure a non-predatory car loan. I will attempt this regardless of any other assistance and I am loath to make such a request but if you want to, I would be more than happy to receive donations toward vehicle efforts. I am only looking at cars at or below $5000. I know that there are fees and taxes and tags and insurance and I honestly don't understand any of those things or what their attendant costs might be on top of the cost of a vehicle. My finances will be sketchy forever but getting a car will be the major piece necessary to end the hemorrhaging of funds to a weekly car rental. I can accept donations through google pay: numbatwombat21 at gmail. Thank You for reading this and Thank You for caring what happens to me. I would like to be in a position to help others as I have been helped. I am trying to get there. <3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

Cruel Diagonals - Disambiguation (2018)

i am so so into this goth industrial new age occult haze!!! completely entrancing <3 <3 <3

Inhumankind - Self-Extinction (2018)

So its now 2019 and Blessed Be!!! King Paimon showed up and now the Trump Administration no longer exists and things are pretty groovy in a Satanic Post-Fordist sort of way? but WHAT DO YOU LISTEN TO AT YOUR COFFEE HOUSES BEFORE YOUR ALL-NIGHT JESS FRANCO FILM FESTIVALS inquiring minds want to know and as well you should ask because we got the dopest acoustic double-bass/flute left-hand-path prog-jazz-metal combo so far, Inhumankind! Hails! <3

Inspirational Text Of The Day 7/13/18

The Sybil foretold the future; but the Sorceress makes it. Here is the great, the vital distinction. She evokes, conjures, guides Destiny. She is not like the Cassandra of old, who foresaw the coming doom so clearly, and deplored it and awaited its approach; she creates the future. Greater than Circe, greater than Medea, she holds in her hand the magic wand of natural miracle, she has Nature to aid and abet her like a sister. Foreshadowings of the modern Prometheus are to be seen in her, -- a beginning of industry, above all the sovereign industry that heals and revivifies men. Unlike the Sybil, who seemed ever gazing toward the dayspring, she fixes her eyes on the setting sun; but it is just the sombre orb of the declining luminary that shows long before the dawn (like the glow on the peaks of the High Alps) a dawn anticipatory of the true day. 

         The Priest realises clearly where the danger lies, that an enemy, a menacing rival, is to be
         feared in the High-priestess of Nature he pretends to despise. Of the old gods, she has
         invented new ones. Beside the old Satan of the past, a new Satan is seen burgeoning in her,
         a Satan of the future. (ix-x)

         -   Jules Michelet, Satanism And Witchcraft (1862).
                  Translated by A.R. Allinson, Citadel Press, 1939.

great mother bat 1.1

Taman Shud - Viper Smoke (2015)

a slathering undead beast of a psych rock lp for sure!!! <3

071018d

raise your claws to the skies cause your gonna die your gonna die your gonna die your gonna die

Khemmis - Desolation (2018)

besiegement / what lay beyond hope

Master Boot Record - Direct Memory Access (2018)

neoclassical 16-bit industrial blackened cyber death is coming for you (if you choose to listen to this album which maybe you should because it rules? <3 NOW w/ added rococo corpsepaint voxes! at NO ADDITIONAL COST! <3 <3

Barbara Manning - 'Scissors' from Lately I Keep Scissors (1989)

one of those songs i have kept singing to myself over and over and over over 3 decades. <3 Love To You Barbara Manning <3

Sandy Denny & The Strawbs - 'Tell Me What You See In Me' from All Our Own Work (1967/1973)

love you always Sandy <3 <3 <3

Gnod - Chapel Perilous (2018)

it is always righteous when Gnod puts out something and yes <3 <3 <3

cat 1.1

Britney Spears - 'Invitation' from Glory (2016)

even Britney albums that are not my most favorite have songs on them that I love, like this one, which sounds like a Disintegration rip-off turned into bedroom jamz which is pretty amazing on its own not to mention the near-psychedelic autotune vocal cloud love u forever britney!!! <3 <3 <3

Mortuous - Through Wilderness (2018)

advanced decay <3

whorl of drying blood 1.0

Donna Summer - 'I Feel Love' (Patrick Cowley Remix) (1978)

the greatest remix of the greatest song ever prog-disco glory!!! when i die instead of a funeral i want to have a planetarium laser-light fantasia to this song on a loop for 21 hours and people can just come and go to the planetarium as they wish <3

spirits partially in the ground 2.0

Blom - 'Powerfrau / Skank Witch' (2018)

This rules so hard i hope my teeth don't fall out! <3

spirits partially in the ground 1.0

Mylingar - Doda Vagar (2016)

Thoroughly Rampaging Deathened Black Death Totally Rad <3 <3

The Mover - Frontal Sickness (1993)

<3 <3 <3 !!! (This musick sounded future dystopian in the 1990's. Now that we live in a future dystopia it sounds like now. <3 <3 <3

Urgent Plea For Assistance

Dearest Friends And Readers:

I am in a terrible bind. I need transportation to go to and from work. I am disabled, physically and cognitively. I live all alone in a small town a half-hour away from my job at a big box store where I am a cashier. I needed to take the job in order to try and secure housing which I have. My rent represents nearly half of my monthly disability allotment. The other half and the little that I make from a part-time cashier job (max 20 hrs a week) goes to food, medical care, medicine and since my car died in January, a rental car. A healthy, solvent person would be able to go to a used car lot and even with those little resources, make some kind of deal to achieve a car. I have not been able to both financially and because I am terrified to go to a car lot and end up being taken advantage of by a process I do not understand and cannot grasp. I have been trying to get a loan from my mother but this has been unusually protracted and difficult. My father will not help me financially at all. My family either cannot or do not want to grasp the situation in which I am trying to survive. I am scared. As of Wednesday July 4, I need at least $400 to cover the cost of ONE WEEK of summer rates for a Hyundai Accent so that I can go to work for that week and make the little that I do. It doesn't make sense to pay that much money to have a big box store cashier job but that is literally the only contact I have with people other than on the telephone or (less and less frequently) online. I need a car desperately. I wish there were some way to solve this problem. I will still be in a huge mess once the rental car situation is resolved but until it is resolved I cannot move forward in getting therapy or necessary medical care. This really is urgent. I hate to ask again and again. Last week I wrote a similar letter but no one could help and I understand. Lots of the time I wonder why I am alive when I cannot make the minimum qualifications for continuing to live. I hate being this person. The stress is unreal, having to continually beg and scrape and fight just to work at a low-wage cashier job which hurts so much physically I can barely get through a four-hour shift. I want to live. I want to be productive and help people with the life that I have left. I don't want to die. I don't want to live in a continual panic about how to survive, how to get by the next day and the next. If you can help at all, I can receive funds through Google Pay. My address is numbatwombat21 at gmail. I wish I could write better these days. I wish if I could be more coherent, less scattered, that I could explain my situation to my family, to friends, to a social worker, anyone, who could act as a support and an advocate in acquiring transportation and basic assistance. I never would have moved far away and taken a job if I didn't have a car but now that that car has died I am really in a terrible situation. Please someone help me. I am trying to do everything that my family and society has asked of me. I am trying to support myself in a good faith effort. I work hard at great cost. I have done everything in my power to save this job. Please help. I don't know what else to do anymore. Even if I can get through this week I don't know how I will get through until my next pay period in two week. I have tried to fight for as long as I can but I am running out of options. Sorry for writing these. <3 nathaxnne

Prequel Tapes - Inner Systems (2015)

totally awesome kosmische pastoral industrial reverie!!! <3

Manhunt - Manhunt (2014)

One of the most ferocious powerviolence/hxcx albums i have ever heard

Succumb - Succumb (2017)

<3

Mandy (Official Trailer)

Never at any point in my previous life have I been as excited for a movie as I am for Mandy except for when I was waiting for The Dark Crystal to come out. That still holds the record I think. <3

endless desecration 7.7

S.H.I.T. - Complete S.H.I.T. (2018)

reverb/feedback/disdain <3

Update And Request III

Hello Dear Friends And Readers!

In an upsetting addendum to the last update and request, I am STILL driving a rental. I have been trying to secure help from my family to extend a small loan with interest to me in order to purchase a vehicle because my credit is so nonexistent but these efforts have so far not borne fruit. What is UPSETTING is that because it is now summer, the rental car company went from a weekly base price for a compact? sub-compact? car of nearly $200 a week to nearly $300 a week and with everything else I had to pay today $366 to rent a car for a week where last week it was one hundred dollars less than that. I COULD NOT afford to have a rental car BEFORE this and now I don't know what to do. Really I just need someone to donate me a car but since that seems highly unlikely I feel at a near-total loss. Even if I quit my job, I still need a car for groceries and medicine. I am disabled and live alone and access to ready 24/7 transportation is a must. I don't live in a city where not having a car is an option. At this point I need any help that can be provided and I hate feeling like a broken record and asking for help over and over but I really don't know what to do. To make matters worse, my job only gave me 10 hours of work this week, drastically reducing my income for the pay period. I can't live with the stress of this week after week. It is removing my ability to afford anything else. If you can help and wish to, I can receive funds through Google. My address is numbatwombat21 at gmail. I am so so sorry to ask this again. My primary wish for this year is that I get a car and find a way to be financially secure so that I can go to therapy and go back to school. I think I would like to go back to school and become a licensed social worker? But maybe that is insane of me? IDK. Before I had the brain injury I wanted to go back to school and go into therapy/counseling. Maybe I still can? It is so hard to find therapists who specialize in gender. Maybe I could help? <3 nathaxnne

endless desecration 6.5

Paul Johnson - 'Give Me Ecstasy' (1995) from Dance Mania: Ghetto Madness (2014)

I am pretty much certain this is the greatest song of all time and I have tested it enough times to come close to verification <3

endless desecration 5.5

Gong - 'You Can't Kill Me' from Camembert Electrique (1971)

<3

endless desecration 4.9

Body/Head - 'You Don't Need' from The Switch (2018)

OK So there is no album that is coming out this year that I am more excited about than Body/Head's new LP The Switch. Their first is one of my favorites of all time. I was lucky to see them once in Minneapolis which was totally rad. <3

endless desecration 3.8

Craft - White Noise And Black Metal (2018)

New Craft Album!!! More angular space chords! More epic time-distenting floaty parts! Still in agonistism w kosmos Still rocks plenty hard! <3

Blanck Mass - 'Odd Scene/Shit Luck' (2018)

fully embracing a post-Wax-Trax industrial metal attack, at least for these two songs! <3

Butthole Surfers - Live April 3, 1987

sometimes a little muffly but in general very clear and captures BS at Acid Test Flight Hight Maximum <3

endless desecration 2.9

endless desecration 1.12

Excoriate - On Pestilent Winds (2009)

deeply sick and venomous deaththrash from Bavaria in the mid 00's. completely awesome and timeless. <3

Earth, Wind & Fire - 'Energy' from The Need Of Love (1971)

we call on you because we love you <3

SOPHIE - OIL OF EVERY PEARL’S UN-INSIDES (2018)

So beautiful! This album reminds me a lot of late 80's pop music as it was embracing house, sampling, orchestral psychedelia into a lush collage but thirty years on. I will listen to this lots and lots! <3

flattened spine 1.0

Book Of Sand - Postmodern Witchcraft (2018)

Occult Anarchist Black Metal Goth Surf Garage From Minnesota is indeed pretty awesome! <3

Sacrilege - Within The Prophecy (1987)

Sacrilege are one of my favorite bands, one i am always glad to listen to and every time i find new things to enjoy about each of their works. Within The Prophecy has an epic death-of-all-life-on-earth crust/thrash quality that retains necessary heaviness, and indeed, the folk and doom tinges present here flower into even greater forms later on! bullet belts and acid washed everything!!! <3

ATROCITY IS POLICY 1.9

EMA - Exile In The Outer Ring (2017)

I have long been a fan of EMA's musick and this album is their very best work. I don't know why it took me so long to finally listen to this but it gives me chills to do so because it feels like a ghostly afterimage of trauma, poverty, isolation, abandonment. Folk music like Nebraska or the first Suicide album. <3

hole in ice for seals to breathe from 1.0

Vincent Floyd - Moonlight Fantasy (2014)

Moonlight Fantasy was recorded in the 90's mostly with one track as late as 2000. It is iridescent and shimmery and near-ambient Chicago House. So beautiful! <3

Lonnie Liston Smith - Visons Of A New World (1975)

For your near-solstice Saturday blissful cosmic jazz funk extended meander! So beautiful! <3

Black Sun - 'Black Sun' from Black Sun (1978)

longform canadian space prog-disco jamz from 1978 with a Philippe Druillet (!!!) cover (!!!)

Dee D. Jackson - 'Automatic Lover' Video from Cosmic Curves (1979)

I am in awe of Dee D Jackson's silver/purple cape/bodysuit. Absolutely amazing. Of all the jobs I wish I had but haven't and don't seem likely to attain, Space Disco Queen is right up there, especially if I could be one-teenth as awesome as Dee D. <3

bird (and more) - eating plant lures through 1.0

OH NO!!! IMPORTANT ERROR IN A PREVIOUS POST!!!!

PS --- OH NO! My post "Update and Request II reported an INCORRECT address!!!! rather than ''numbatwombat21" which is CORRECT, I had typed "numbatwombat" which is NOT ME!!! I am so so sorry!!!!! If you have sent the other 'numbatwombat' monies I am so very sorry!!!!! Now I am in a panic!!! :( :( :( I am so dumb!!!! :( :( :(
 I am so bad at life!!!

:( :( :( 

Tomb Mold - Manor Of Infinite Forms (2018)

I cannot stop listening to this. One of the best metal albums of this year for sure. <3 <3 <3

armored fish 1.0

thing from another world 1.0

Update and Request II

Dear Friends and Readers:

Gaining an apartment has been an enormous step in stability and security for me and I am thankful every day. Unfortunately I am in a very bad situation with the rental car, which I have been driving since January. I desperately need a car of my own to get to work and do errands. I am physically disabled in addition to everything else and although I would much prefer to live in a city where I did not need a car I still do. I am paying hundreds and hundreds of dollars a week to drive a rental car. I need help in finding a solution. I would like to purchase an inexpensive car for around $4000 - $5000. I have no downpayment. Additionally, due to extremely intense back/spine/hip pain when at work, I have had to cut back my hours, thus depressing my income further. I am doing better and I know I can find a way out of this. For now I am writing both to update and to request concrete assistance on two fronts: a) first, anything to help get a car. I just renewed the rental car for another week for almost $300. I need to return it for good and am hoping to do so by next Thursday and b) assistance for food, medicine, gasoline for another eight days until my next pay period. I want to be in a situation where I no longer ask for so much help. If you would like, I am at numbatwombat21@gmail.com and funds can be transferred through google pay. I am sorry to again ask. I hope that I offer enough to the world in the form of art that this is somehow worth it. I wish I made enough to live on through work and disability. If I wasn't so dumb I probably could figure out a better way. Thank You For Reading. <3 nathaxnne

PS - currently I am trying to seek help through Physical Therapy. The Sports Medicine Doctor was not very helpful. I have a plan going forward which requires me to start attending acupuncture weekly again and finding a new therapist. I need a therapist who can work with people with brain injury, trauma, gender stuff and practical problem solving. My last therapist was great at the first two but not the second two. After that I plan on trying to get money together to (finally!) start bioidentical estradiol and progesterone. After THAT I am thinking about enrolling in a class this fall but if not this fall than in the spring. I am 44 years old and have never held an associate's degree or bachelor's degree. I don't think it is necessary to have a degree but I am deeply concerned about the decay in my writing and thinking and feel that school might be a good later-life hedge against dementia.
Those are my Coming Attractions! I am sure I will be tiresomely asking for help in their regard as well!!!

<3 <3 <3 nathaxnne

PS --- OH NO! My earlier version of this post reported an INCORRECT address!!!! rather than ''numbatwombat21" which is CORRECT, I had typed "numbatwombat" which is NOT ME!!! I am so so sorry!!!!! If you have sent the other 'numbatwombat' monies I am so very sorry!!!!! 

death racer 1.0

DAUÐYFLIN - Dauþiflin 7"

totally ferocious Icelandic hxcx <3

Mournful Congregation - The Incubus Of Karma (2018)

drifting motes in a sealed crypt <3

zombi 7 1.0

Serum Dreg - Impure Blood [VT-II] (2015)

Serum Dreg reminds me as much of Beirut Slump or 8-Eyed Spy as they do any deathened black antecedents which to me is a very very good thing indeed. I can't wait to hear their recent album. I have been catching up on Vrasubatlat releases which is a fine way to spend an afternoon! <3

Power Mix 96 Miami (1988) with Phil Jones [I-V]

Longtime readers of this blog may recall that the sound of my spatio-temporal homeland is whatever was being mixed live on Miami's Power 96 in the late XXth Century. I am always very pleased when coming across troves of Power 96 Mixes online, like this awesome collection of Phil Jones mixes which are filled with classic freestyle, electro and bass jams. Thank You To Those Who Have Created And Preserved Such Beauty! Blessed Be! <3

gourd top propellant spout 1.0

Flowers - 'For Real' [Extended] (1976)

prime disco-psych cut from 76 - this destroys!!! <3 <3 <3

Firewalker - Alive (2018)

monster vox/monster gtr tone plus massive love for angela davis, bell hooks, judith butler & audre lorde. RULES. <3

meltmask 1.4

floating eye 1.0

Skinless - Only The Ruthless Remain (2015)

Today's jam is me trying to catch up on Skinless's 2010's output and this album grooves and crushes just like I wanted it to! <3

cephalopod 1.0

cephalopod 0.5

夢遊病者 (Sleepwalker) - 一期一会 (2018)

Sentient Ruin always puts out amazing stuff and when I saw that they were releasing the new 夢遊病者 (Sleepwalker) I became very excited and started counting down the days until I could listen to it and I am so happy to have been able to! I hear a lot more dub and spaghetti psych in here but more listens will have to take place! Awesome! <3

Uada - Cult Of A Dying Sun (2018)

This album rokks so hard!!! <3

Akira Ito - Marine Flowers (Science Fantasy) (1986)

so lovely! <3

DJ Topcat - "I Need Weed In My Life" [Dance Mania] (1996)

i need weed in my life so bad i can't stop <3 <3 <3

Sangre De Muerdago - Noite (2018)

Blissed-out evening-into-deeper-night forest hymns <3

Ghastly - Death Velour (2018)

Glorious Finnish Death induce trance through hypnotic repetition, wig-out gtr lines <3

Jesus Lizard - 'Countless Backs Of Sad Losers' from Down (1994)

The kind of day I'm having involves waiting for post-migraine diarrhea to subside so I can go out into rain in order to go the library and the grocery store and until I feel ok enough to do this I am sitting in bed listening to Jesus Lizard's Down for like the thousandth thousandth time and I am now wondering how 'Countless Backs Of Sad Losers' is somehow not a truck commercial theme song in our benighted Trumpian era in the messed-up way that Trumpism is Clintonism through a funhouse mirror it makes perfect sense to me but I've had a migraine for four days.

all out monsters attack 21.4

Obliteration - Nekropsalms (2009)

Melt/Decay/Crumble

all out monsters attack 20.3

Idris Ackamoor And The Pyramids - An Angel Fell (2018)

it is necessary to cherish that music which is made to be kind, to heal, to urge us to kindness, to acts of healing <3

all out monsters attack 19.2

Update And Request

Hello to All Friends & Readers!!!

I wanted to give an update to how things generally are going. I finally found a place to live approximately a half-hour from my big box job. It is an efficiency carved out of an art-deco movie theatre in a town where a natural gas pipeline is being put through which I am deathly afraid of. There is lots of painting going on in my building which is less than ideal because I am super chemically sensitive to paint, having suffered serious solvent exposure in 1997 at a job where i worked next to spray painting all day in an unventilated area of a warehouse. I eventually quit that job because i was slurring my speech, blacking out, throwing up, getting lost on the way home, etc, but I have permanent nervous system damage, making me forever wary of paint exposure. I am also still (ridiculously) renting a car for over 200 dollars a week, which I have since January. It is an emergency I have not been able to fix and I feel really ashamed about it. In other good news, I finally received my medical marijuana card for PA and have been finally getting some relief from chronic severe osteoarthritis pain, severe depression/anxiety and cognitive issues related to brain injury. It has also been helping with asthma and sleep apnea, for which I am in immediate need of a new CPAP machine which will also cost a great deal but that is a whole additional topic. After I went and (shamefully) renewed my rental car for another week I saw that I only had 50 dollars in the bank which is nowhere near enough to cover the rental car, potentially wiping out my bank account once again and subjecting me to overdraft fees on top of everything else. Even after that, I will not have any money for food or medicine for another week when I will get paid. My hours at my job are extremely variable, from 12 to 35 hours a week so this past month I have not worked enough to cover expenses. This week and next should be a lot better. Unfortunately I don't know how long I will be able to keep working, not only because continued work will jeopardize my disability income but also because I am in grotesque levels of excruciating hip, leg, spine/back pain every day at work. The medicine has helped some but the pain is so bad some days I have trouble walking out of my job. I am a cashier and I think the pain is mostly from repetitive strain. I am writing this to let everyone know how things are going and to share and to say thank you for help but also sadly to ask for any possible assistance for the next week. I have google pay and my email is numbatwombat21@gmail.com. It would make pain management and eating possible. Thank You For Your Kind Induldgences. Additionally I feel that this is my worst-written update yet. I am no longer confident in my writing. I have felt better about drawing and just completed a major series (available here on my blog!) but haven't been making art since. I have a question I would like to ask: if I am able to continue making art and hopefully get back to writing (?) do you think it would be a good idea to set up a Patreon? I don't know how they work and I would not have a whole lot to post there that I don't already post here, but I do have works-in-progress pieces and some variants that don't show up here. I am so frightened I am going to lose my disability and/or have to quit my job and I already don't have enough to get by. Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated!!

Thank You,

nathaxnne

all out monsters attack 18.0

all out monsters attack 17.1

all out monsters attack 16.0

Thou - The House Primordial (2018)

New Thou EP!!!! <3 <3

all out monsters attack 15.6

all out monsters attack 14.0

all out monsters attack 13.0

all out monsters attack 12.1