Please Help I Don't Know What To Do

my life is in free-fall. i can't get medicine and have no money to do so. i can't get my car to the shop and i have no money to do so. i am supposed to go to work today and i can't. i am supposed to go to the medical marijuana doctor tomorrow and i do have the 200 dollars for my appointment but that is all i have and i have not spent that. i don't know how i am going to survive. i don't even know how to think myself out of this because everything is closing like a trap. i don't know what to do. i am having panic attack after panic attack and this is preventing me from being able to think my way out of the situation. i have to try and calm down and by the time i am able to manage that i can't circle back around to the looming material crisis that i cannot fix. running out of medicine means that even this will no longer be available to me. i don't know. i don't have enough money to solve this problem and it could lead to the end of everything for me. everything in my life is like one thing goes wrong and then everything falls. is everyone's life like this? all the time? maybe it is.

I don't have any friends or family in Central Pennsylvania other than my ex and ex-step-kids and they are not in a position to help me. I am not close enough to my job or to my fellow employees with whom i get along but am not friends with outside of work. I am scared I will lose my job. I have no credit. I have no credit cards. I am crying and crying. Should I call out of work? If I do that will be 4 callouts in 2 weeks and i could lose my job. do i call my insurance company to try and get my car to the dealership even though yesterday the phone call would NOT WORK because of my insurance company glitching out and i couldn't get them to help. i feel like i am under a curse that i wish would kill me outright but the curse is deeper than that. i am going to start ranting. please i need someone to help me. i have tried getting formal help but was denied. there is no one to help. maybe whatever i am can't be helped. maybe that is what the curse is. that no help will ultimately matter. that my curse is so heavy it will drag me down regardless of anything. maybe that is right. all the love <3 nathaxnne