George Michael - The Cycle Of Faith

I love George Michael with all of my heart. Ever since Wham! even though I wasn't really a Wham! fan, what I WAS a fan of was 'Careless Whisper' because it spoke to depths of regret and loss within me even though I didn't yet dance, and when I did dance, was more 'damaged hippie' or 'broken metal' in a collective environment, rather than a situation befitting High Drama. If there is an open question whether we in the 1980's knew what a brilliant song this was, we knew, and we cherished it. In late 1987, there were three albums that were the MOST IMPORTANT to me that came out in the second half of that year, well, four, I guess, if you include Pink Floyd's Momentary Lapse Of Reason, but the other three were The Grateful Dead's In The Dark, Def Leppard's Hysteria and George Michael's Faith. I still listened (do not worry!) to Prince's Sign O The Times EVERY SINGLE DAY and taped that Prince Movie off of cable and watched it almost as frequently! The movie in fact, dominated my late 1987 musically, for real. My belovedness of George Michael's Faith came off to a rocky start. Being in love with some Wham! singles and 'Careless Whisper' I was actually excited to hear new George Michael music. At that time, I was your average 13 year old who had Duran Duran posters and could acknowledge Simon LeBon as 'cute' without any sort of carnal interest, and for sure would have been Down For Whatever with Prince but I mostly assumed that as universal? Of all the closests I was in, they were super deep, to the point where I was not even aware of them. I was ready, though, for a new George Michael single, and 'I Want Your Sex' should have been that single, but was instead, to me and my sister and cousins and all of my fellow metalheads in the psych hospital that summer, laughably clunky and hilarious, a terrible misfire. I can see how with the repeated success of the WHAM! Rap or whatever, that it may not have seemed like a terrible idea, but it did not go over well with me or my immediate circle. Do not worry! I am not here to speak ill! So, it was a profound shock when I saw the video for 'Faith'. In October of 1987, when I saw George Michael's 'Faith' video for the first time I am 99.9% sure that is the first time when I saw a man on tv and wanted to get in their pants. Like, not borrow his pants, which were awesome, as was the entire rockabilly boots/bleached jeans/leather jacket that says 'Revenge'/aviator shades look, but like actually 'get' why people wanted to because I wanted to as well. I watched that video over and over and over again. What I think people responded to in George Michael primarily was and is loss, regret, lust, but a lust held in abeyance, not able to be fulfilled, whether due to circumstance or personal difficulty. Straight-up immediate desire seems to not work as well as desire blocked or frustrated, which is an IMMENSELY POWERFUL FORCE, especially if you are 13 and watching MTV all by yourself in 1987. Once that happened, it was all over for me, I became a George Michael/Faith devotee for life. All into especially the next year, which I spent the entirety in a for-profit adolescent psych hospital, George Michael (and Terence Trent D'Arby and Prince and Sinead and SST/DK's/GNR/Metallica/Slayer/Sabbath) kept me alive and mostly sane. I was a convert. So, although 'Father Figure' is maybe the most messed-up and problematic/corrosive song/video I have loved this much NOT written by SWANS, it is also the most beautiful song on Faith, and is well aware of is own darkness. When I was 13/14, I could not only identify with George Michael saying this to another person (even though I had NO DESIRE to be ANYONE'S 'father figure', given what that meant to me, especially, the idea that it could be something at all positive was very puzzling to me) but I could identify with George Michael saying it to me (not, of course, literally), and feeling warm and loved and wanted in a way that songs on the radio did not normally make me feel but then there was all of that religiosity/criminality in the lyrics, which sent up all sorts of other red flags. This is something truly thorny and difficult for me to parse, even given the passage of 28 years. 'One More Try' is an immediate counterpoint to 'Father Figure' and raises for me the interesting question of who is speaking and why. Clearly, 'One More Try' is from the voice of the student, the adept of love, who is torn between staying and leaving, when it may not be their choice at all. I think there is an interesting reading of Faith as being about Divine Love between God and Humanity, expressed in ecstatic, personal terms. Part of this process is the falling-away from Union with The Divine and the feelings of abandonment therein. Faith is an album about the soul's journey into and out of states of relationship with God. I have no idea why I can't find the official 'Kissing A Fool' video, but this was the last single issued from Faith, and is perfect in its 'fool-is-made-wise-through-loss' gnosis. The cycle of knowing is complete, and the Fool emerges from their path stronger through having been broken and remade in the crucible of love. <3 <3 <3 nathaxn